Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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