Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
