I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
