i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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