sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
