Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize