i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
