ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize