fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
