Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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