Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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