dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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