I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
