she kept yelling 'call me bella'
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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