the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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