i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize