why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
