he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
