ya dads aren't the best wingmen
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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