I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
