Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
