So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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