I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
