Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
