I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize