dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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