I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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