I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
