We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
