We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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