I heard we made out
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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