I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Randomize
