so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
