Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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