Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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