Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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