Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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