I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
