apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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