Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
