White coat. Heels.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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