Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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