my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
