Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
