this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
