I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
