Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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