but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
