you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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