Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
