I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
