Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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