I heard we made out
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
