I showed him my bush... on skype.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
