Ketchup is God's man juice
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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