We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
