my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
