i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
