It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize