I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
