theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
