Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
