Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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