You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
