New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's blow job season.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
