so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
