Yo dont text me then not text me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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