I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
