I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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